I have looking for a topic to rant about and a married friend of mine has brought to me the idea of open relationships and how she (yes SHE) believes that they are the way of the future (and how much she would prefer them to be the way of the present). Since quite a few of my friends are married or getting there I welcome all the comments because this is a really interesting topic to have a discussion about. (When you do comment try to do so in English so that anyone can understand.)
I will first present you with her unabridged (I did not even change the spelling or grammar) view of things which will be followed by my opinion.
i have something which occupies my thoughts lately..it about life and the way we choose 2 spend it…moreover, with whom we choose 2 spend it will the rest of our lives.
dont think im crazy or something…im just venting my thoughts here.
see, the way i see it, anyone that tells u he still enjoys sex after 10 or so years of marriage 2 the same woman is lying between his teeth.
anyone with an honest bone in his body will admit that sex is not the same after a few year…or shall i say: IS THE SAME! and thats the problem.so what do people do about it?
i dont know the statistics but im guessing that more than 50% screw around with random colleagues or friends, some have a one night stand no one will ever know about
and the other half try “saving” their sex life by making it more interesting…watching porn, using books, trying every stupid acrobatically challenged position they can think of…
or bring toys and other freaky things into bed.my point being:
getting married is a nice notion.
evey 1 wants some 1 2 grow old with…some 1 whom they know and knows them better than any 1 else…
but why , sweet mother of god, doesnt any 1 rise and say the truth out load:
open relationships will make both sides happier and healthier.
thats the truth. how can no 1 see it!?
what r people afraid from?!am i wrong?
my husband thinks im nuts and doesnt see eye-2-eye with me. but im sure he’s just embarrassed 2 admit the truth. im sorry the person i fell in love with isnt more open minded.
amd moreover, im sorry the whole world is still ignorant enough 2 live a lie.ah…u gotta hate the norm.
Let me start my rebuttal by making a few things as clear as possible: I am a humongous slut and I am more than willing to fuck anything that moves at any given time. My sex drive at my nearing 30 age is that of a 17 year old. I am open to almost anything in bed and I mean exactly that – anything. Sex is great and I love it.
Love is a different being altogether. I am not married and probably will not get married any time soon. Neither have I ever had a meaningful relationship that lasted more than a few months. But I believe in one thing – open relationships fuck you up. While to spice up your life with toys and freaky positions may not be the best idea, having another man stuck a dick in my wife/girlfriend does not appeal to me. Call it what you want: ramblings of an chauvinistic alpha male or an adherence to some religious norms, I do not care. I feel physically sick at the notion of the betrayal. And an open relationship to me is just that a relationship where cheating is allowed. And cheating is betrayal no matter how you sugar coat it. (The one time I slept with a married woman I felt extremely guilty afterwards
There are all kinds of relationships out there from people who have been together for decades and never cheated on each other to flirty friendships to fuck buddies. All of them probably have a place in life. But not in marriage… not for me at least. I can be very old-fashioned, but marriage is a contract of exclusivity and that exclusivity applies to sex as well. Given my history and appetite I might never get married, but if I do I know I will be faithful. If the desire to have sex with someone else arrives at my doorstep I will either turn it away or get a friggin’ divorce. But then again with a near total lack of morals my attitude toward betrayal is simple. And I couldn’t hurt someone like that. And even though my friend claims that open relationship are different, they are not… not in my book. I believe that they destroy the bond that is supposed to exist between two long term partners. First it is sex that you go to another person for then it is advice and then the original relationship is there but is devoid of what is supposed to make it a relationship.
For me sex is the same as alcohol or drugs or anything else that can be found addictive. Once you start (in this case it is having sex with someone other than your better half) you will most likely find this extremely hard to stop. Just as I do with drugs and cigarettes and alcohol, I will do the same with the idea of an open relationship – I will avoid it with all my willpower. For I do not subscribe to the idea that sex is at the centre of the relationship. It is a big part but if you partner no longer satisfies you – get a 10 inch dildo.
But then again… this is just my opinion that can be rejected or accepted by any of you.
Comments are more than welcome.
